Aging in place or downsizing in New York: how to decide

New York Downsizing exists for people who decide to downsize, but that decision should follow a fair comparison rather than come before one. Introductions from this site go to agents on the operating team at eXp Realty, so it is not a search of the whole market and we do not claim to be neutral. That is one more reason to look at staying honestly before you look at moving.

Many people stay in a longtime home successfully for years with a few changes and some outside help. Others find the home has become a project they no longer want. Neither is a failure. The aim is to choose with clear information, ideally before a fall or a health change pushes the decision onto someone else's timeline.

The honest trade-offs of staying and moving

Two costs are easy to overlook. Staying means paying for repairs and help as they come up, which is hard to predict. Moving means paying a large lump sum now, and moving in a hurry usually costs more than moving on your own schedule. See the costs and money page for what a sale involves, and the guide to senior property tax exemptions for programs that may bear on the cost of staying. We are not putting dollar figures on either path here, because the range is too wide to be useful and the right figures are yours. This is not financial, tax or legal advice.

Stairs, walk-ups and elevator buildings

In New York, the stairs question is often the deciding one. Housing stock ranges from walk-up apartments and multi-story townhouses to elevator co-ops and condominiums, and the physical demands differ a great deal.

• Walk-up apartments. Every trip out means the stairs, including with groceries, laundry, packages or a cane. Consider how the building would work on a day you are unwell, and how you would leave in an emergency.
• Townhouses and houses with several floors. Bedrooms and bathrooms on different floors than the kitchen and front door mean daily stairs. Some layouts allow living mostly on one floor. Others do not.
• Elevator buildings. The stairs go away, but an elevator has its own issues: it can be out of service, and the building's maintenance charges or common charges pay for the building. Ask what the current charges are and what the building's reserves and plans are.
• Single-level homes. Where the layout has no interior stairs, the remaining questions are usually steps at the entry and the outdoor upkeep.

The guide to co-ops, condos, townhouses and houses compares those property types, and buying a co-op or condo in New York explains the rules a buyer faces. A building's own rules and process matter: the Attorney General notes that co-op owners are both shareholders in and tenants of the same corporation, run by a board, so the buying process differs from a house.

Home modifications that can make staying workable

Many changes are modest, and an occupational therapist or a home care professional can assess what would help in your particular home. Common categories include:

• Bathroom: grab bars, a raised toilet seat, a handheld shower head, a shower seat or replacing a tub with a walk-in shower.
• Entrance and stairs: railings on both sides, better lighting, a ramp or a stair lift where the layout allows, or moving the bedroom to the main living floor.
• Throughout the home: lever handles, brighter lighting, removing loose rugs and clearing pathways for a walker.
• Kitchen: moving everyday items to reachable shelves is often the cheapest change of all.

Who approves the work depends on what you own. In a co-op or condo, ask the managing agent or board what approval the building requires before any contractor starts. In a house, ask the local building department whether the job needs a permit. Get written quotes and check a contractor's credentials. Costs vary too widely to cite a range. If a home would need a major rebuild to work for you, that is a useful finding in itself.

Keep records of anything you install. If you later sell an older home, those records help. Our guide to preparing an older home to sell covers how permits and building paperwork come up.

Help at home: NYC Aging

NYC Aging, the city's Department for the Aging, lists on its site:

• more than 300 older adult centers offering free art, fitness and daily meals;
• caregiver programs and training;
• elder safety services, including Crime Prevention and Support Services (C-PASS) and elder justice providers;
• older adult employment services and career counseling;
• social adult day care, with a program locator.

Aging Connect is the phone entry point: 212-AGING-NYC (212-244-6469), Monday to Friday, 8:30 am to 5:30 pm; outside those hours, call 311. The department also runs free Medicare and health insurance counseling through HIICAP, covering Medicare Parts A, B, C and D, Medigap, EPIC, the Medicare Savings Program and Extra Help. The statewide HIICAP helpline is 1-800-701-0501.

NY Connects and county offices for the aging

NY Connects is the state's No Wrong Door system, run under the New York State Office for the Aging. It gives free information and assistance on long-term services and supports for people of all ages or with any disability, including home care information, housing options, transportation, food access, caregiver support and help with Medicaid and SNAP applications. Call 1-800-342-9871.

On Long Island, county offices serve older residents. Suffolk County's Office for the Aging is at (631) 853-8200 and describes benefits counseling, caregiver support and nutrition among its programs. Nassau County's office is listed in the state directory at (516) 227-8900; confirm details with them directly. Our resources page collects these contacts with others, including senior move managers.

Program availability, eligibility and waiting times change. Treat each phone call as the start of a conversation and ask what you qualify for and how soon.

When downsizing may make more sense

Moving tends to look better when several of these are true at once:

• Stairs or building access have become a daily obstacle and changes would be extensive.
• The home needs major work soon that you would rather not pay for or manage.
• You depend on people who are moving away, or you would like to be closer to them.
• Upkeep, or the building's monthly charges, no longer match how you use the space.
• Much of your wealth is in the home and you want it for other purposes.
• You feel isolated where you are and would like more nearby.

Consider a composite situation, not a real person: someone in a fourth-floor walk-up who now avoids going out in winter. Options include a stair-free unit in the same neighborhood, a move to an elevator building nearby or staying with more help at home. Each carries different monthly charges and different effort, and only a side-by-side list makes the choice clear.

Middle paths between staying and moving far away

The choice is rarely all or nothing. Many people move within their own area:

• An elevator co-op or condominium nearby. Same neighborhood, no stairs. Read the offering plan and governing documents, as the Attorney General advises, and see what the monthly charges cover.
• A smaller home in a familiar area. Our where to downsize page describes ten neighborhoods to compare.
• A 55+ community on Long Island. These communities operate under an age exemption, and we describe several on the 55+ communities page. Fees and rules are set by each community, so ask for the documents.
• Renting for a period. This lets you try an area before committing, though you take on a lease and a second move.

If you move, plan the sequence with care. Buy first or sell first covers the trade-offs, and moving day in New York covers the logistics of a building move.

A self-assessment checklist

Answer honestly, ideally with family or someone you trust. The more items you check, the more reason there is to look at a move. Few checks suggest staying, perhaps with changes, may work.

• I avoid parts of my home, or avoid going out, because of stairs or distance.
• I have rooms I rarely use but still pay for and maintain.
• Something major in the home or building will soon need replacing or a large payment.
• Getting in and out of the shower or tub feels unsafe.
• I rely on others for tasks I cannot do myself and I am not sure that will last.
• I do not know how I would get out in an emergency.
• I would like to be closer to family, friends or care.
• Much of my savings is tied up in my home.
• I have called NYC Aging, NY Connects or my county office to learn what help exists.
• I can picture a smaller home I would enjoy living in.

If you are helping a parent weigh this, see helping a parent downsize in New York. If you decide a smaller home is the right next step, you can ask to be introduced to an agent on the eXp Realty operating team, and there is no pressure to move.